An avid hunter, fisherman and ironworker, 39-year-old Mark Desy from Homer, Mich., is a man’s man. “A larger-than-life kind of guy,” says Vicki Wood, Desy’s partner of 15 years. “I call him Superman.”
Today, Desy sits in a hospital bed at U-M, breathing with the assistance of a respirator and unable to move from the neck down, unable to speak except by whisper without special maneuvers to let the air pass over his vocal cords due to the breathing tube in his throat.
He was severely injured while at work June 17. A roof truss fell on his head and neck. He couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. It wasn’t clear whether he’d make it. He is now quadriplegic.
“They said he was dead on the scene and we almost lost him twice in the ICU,” Wood says. “I told him as soon as he could say ‘I do’ out loud, he was going to marry me.”
On Sept. 8, after two-and-a-half months of treatment to stabilize his condition at the U-M Health System in the Trauma Burn Unit and on Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation Unit, Desy said, “I do.”
Chaplain Tom Burdette says that statistically, when a relationship or marriage sustains a major trauma, such as the death of a child or a disabling event such as Desy’s, the vast majority of these relationships end.
But Wood, who is a home health care nurse, knows what she’s getting into.
Vicky Wood shares a piece of wedding cake with her husband, Mark Desy. The couple was married in the U-M Hospital chapel. Photo by Scott Galvin, U-M Photo Services.
When asked if he remembered the moment Wood popped the question and how he felt, Desy whispered laughingly, “Yes, I was scared because I couldn’t run away. But really, I was happy because we should have done it a long time ago. We just never got around to it.”
Friends say it’s clear from the way they interact with each other that their love is deep and their sense of humor helps sustain them.
Wood, who easily can read Desy’s lips, has been by his side every day since the accident.
“From the minute she got to the Trauma Burn Unit, she was wonderful with him,” says Burdette, who performed the wedding ceremony and who has known the couple since Desy’s first night in the Emergency Department. “She stood by him and looked out for his best interests.
“When I learned of their interest in getting married, I discussed the vows with Vicki. In sickness and in health — those issues usually come up later in marriage, not from the minute you enter into it. It didn’t matter to her. She told me, ‘This is my man and I’m sticking with him!’” Burdette says.
When asked why now, Wood explains, “We took advantage of the good times and I wanted to be sure that even though we were already married in our hearts, if we lost him at least we were married. This cements for him especially, that I’m committed to him no matter what. I want him to have no doubts.”
